Part 4 of 5

Welcome back! I pray that you’ve had some great conversations with your child this week.

Let’s take time to consider the moral training of our kids today. We’ve all said it! “My child simply can’t perform up to the standard because….”

I recognize that all children are different. As a matter of fact, each one of our children requires slightly different correction both in content and enforcement because of their differing personalities. But personality development and moral training are not the same thing. Personality varies from child to child, from adult to adult. Moral training is the consistent standard set by scripture. No personality type is exempt from demonstrating kindness, patience, self-control, gentleness, humility, endurance, obedience, respect, honesty, integrity, or other virtues laid out for us in the Bible. Our job as parents is to continually bring our children to God’s standard and not lower the standard to suit our children.

So when we are facing a defiant child in need of Discipline, our job is to see the root problem and give correction. I don’t know about you, but I can’t always put my finger on the exact issue that drives my child to behave so horribly and come up with an appropriate consequence. My only advice here is to go back to our first point of not acting out of reaction, but take a moment to consider the context of the behavior and be proactive in its prevention.

In the moral training of our children, it is best to seek to train in times of non conflict. Using examples that you see in public or on TV is a great way to do this.  Have your kids role play the scenario with you, but making right choices. A good training opportunity is just one trip to the grocery store or mall away. Yes, I’m not afraid to throw other people’s kids under the bus if it will help train mine!

This week, I challenge us both to sit down and watch our kids favorite TV show with them. Keep your finger close to the pause button. Each time an interaction plays out, pause and talk about the issue at hand. When watching, think about the undertones. Parents constantly being out witted by kids, world without authority…parental or otherwise, the aggressiveness of girls in relationships, drama in dating relationships are but just a few.

Stay positive as much as possible. With all that begs our attention for correction, the energy to reward and acknowledge good moral behavior and thought processes tend to escape us.

Click here for part 1 of 5: Disciplining Your Middle School Children [in the beginning]
Click here for part 2 of 5: Disciplining your Middle School Children [punishment or training]
Click here for part 3 of 5: Disciplining your Middle School Children [pro-active vs re-active]
Click here for part 5 of 5: Disciplining your Middle School Children [discipline or vision]