Part 2 of 5

As a continuation of our discussion a few days ago, let’s dig a little deeper...

How about we allow the dictionary help us transition from parenting toddlers to middle schoolers?  Consider a few more i-phone definitions of Discipline: 

1: Training to improve strength or self-control

2: the trait of being well behaved

2: to develop (children’s) behavior by instruction and practice 

In my mind, I apply the definitions of discipline that we talked about a few days ago to younger children and the definitions listed above to older kids. While kids are very young, we are called to parent by authority because they do not have the mental capability, moral maturity or self control to govern their own behavior. So we do it for them…mostly by force. But as kids get older and begin to exercise mental capability, moral maturity and self control, we as the parents allow them more freedom and begin to parent them by influence instead of absolute authority.

Summery: When they’re young, we use both verbal AND force to accomplish desired behavior… and, as they get older, we move to verbal AND influence to accomplish desired behavior.

Notice that the verbal component is a necessity when they are both young and as they grow older. Communication is key; it just changes as they get older.

Let’s consider the following questions:

*Is my child Disciplined enough to control their anger in frustrating situations? I’m sure none of you have a child that hits walls, slams doors, or speaks harshly when things didn’t go his or her way!

*Is my child Disciplined enough to have compassion and empathy toward a sibling?

*Is my child Disciplined enough to realize that they’ve had enough TV/video/computer and need to shut it off and turn their attention to something more constructive?

*Is my child Disciplined enough to recognize that someone may be in need and drop what they are doing or take the initiative to help? Examples: When a guest comes to your home, do they offer to carry anything that needs to be unloaded from the car? When in the grocery store, are they mindful of the elderly and offer to grab things from the top shelf for them?

*Is my child Disciplined enough to respect coaches/teachers (even when they are not dealt with fairly) and encourage fellow teammates and classmates?

*Is my child Disciplined enough to not argue with a parent, but state their position respectfully?

*Is my child Disciplined enough to complete his or her homework and organize themselves for the next day of class without constant reminders?

Now that we’ve taken the time to ask questions of our children, we need to ask ourselves one: How do I as a parent respond when my child is not Disciplined in these areas?

This is a lot for me to take in a swallow as a parent. Is it for you? Be encouraged! Caring enough to consider the training of our children is the first step in actually doing it. Let’s take a few days to mull this all over and meet again for more discussion soon!

   

Click here for part 1 of 5: Disciplining Your Middle School Children [in the beginning]
Click here for part 3 of 5: Disciplining your Middle School Children [pro-active vs re-active]
Click here for part 4 of 5: Disciplining your Middle School Children [moral training]
Click here for part 5 of 5: Disciplining your Middle School Children [discipline or vision]